11 Calming Stims for Autistic Adults

I didn’t realize it until a few years ago.. but I love stimming! I love using a variety of calming stims for all sorts of occasions. When I was first learning about Autism, I used to doubt that I was autistic, because I didn’t think I was stimming. I’d always heard about stereotypical forms of stimming like hand flapping and rocking, and I personally wasn’t doing either of those things.

As it turned out, I was stimming all along. I was just naturally stimming in ways that our society deems socially acceptable, like drawing, chewing gum, petting my cat, and pacing back and forth. Okay, the pacing back and forth actually isn’t considered normal, but who cares? What is ‘normal’ anyway?

what is stimming?

Stimming is defined as any form of repetitive movement used by neurodivergents to promote self-regulation. Some choose to stim in obvious ways that others notice, while others choose more subtle stims. Everybody stims differently – there is no right or wrong way to stim.

Stimming is about giving your body whatever type of movement you feel it wants. You’ll probably have the urge to move it in different ways at different times, and that’s perfectly fine. Stimming is about helping you self-regulate in whatever way you feel is best.

Lean into how you naturally want to move your body, forgetting everything you were taught about how you’re ‘supposed’ to move it. Stim freely and give zero fucks what anyone thinks of it!

The negative story society has created about Stimming

For years, neurotypicals have created so much unnecessary shame around
stimming. Well-meaning parents of autistic children want their kids to fit
into society, so they don’t want them to do anything that causes them to
stand out.

ABA Therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis) teaches autistic children that the ways they naturally feel inclined to move their bodies are wrong and socially unconventional. Well, maybe they are socially unconventional, but they’re 1,000 percent right for moving their body however they feel they need.

The fact that so many autistic children grow up believing this is wrong makes me feel so much anger. Why should they have to change who they are to fit all the silly social constructs our society places so much value in?

I created this post because I want you to feel empowered to stim in whatever ways you need. In the last few years, I’ve found so many soothing stims that have helped me immensely with self-regulation, and I want to share them with you.

Here’s a list of 11 calming stims that I use to improve my focus, release negative energy, and self-soothe. Please, feel free to go way beyond this list and give your body whatever it needs – no shame and no fucks given!

1. coloring

I’ve fucking always loved coloring. I enjoy drawing too, but something about coloring is just incredibly soothing. I love that I don’t have to think about anything else other than what colors I’m going to use.

And I love colors, especially bright ones. If I’m ever feeling like I need to just zone out and focus on something for a few minutes, I’ll set the timer on my phone and get lost in my coloring book for a few minutes while listening to music or a podcast.

I got this Cats in Paris coloring book years ago and absolutely love it!

2. pets and stuffed animals.

Man, am I thankful to have my tuxedo cat, Kitty. He is a mischievous but
lovable little boy who has comforted me a lot and gotten me through some really dark times in the last few years.

I was using him to stim before I even knew what stimming was. I love petting his head, smelling him, giving him chin rubs, and rubbing his toe beans. He isn’t usually pleased with all that (other than the chin rubs), but he mostly tolerates it.

If you’re able to do it, I highly recommend getting a pet. But, if you’re not ready for that kind of commitment, getting a soft stuffed animal is the next best thing. As a kid, I almost never had any pets, but I found so much comfort in my stuffed animals.

3. Chew gum.

Out of all the calming stims mentioned in this post, this one is especially great for coping in public. If things start to feel too overwhelming, the repetitive chewing is a great distraction to help you stay calm.

Alternatively, chewing gum may also help your mind stay focused, especially if you’re really struggling to sit still.

4. weighted blankets make calming stims.

So while a weighted blanket doesn’t involve repetitive movement, it does simulate the feeling you get from a real hug, and it’s like heaven.

Also, the blanket material and beans are especially soothing to touch. So, in my book, it’s absolutely a stim!

Magic Weighted Blanket makes the best quality, safest weighted blankets on the market. Their blankets come in a variety of colors, sizes, and materials.

I got their 6 pound pink cotton blanket for Christmas this past year, and it’s changed my life! It helps me fall asleep more easily at night, and it keeps me focused while I work. The deep pressure of the blanket grounds me and helps me actually sit still long enough to finish my work.

5. Pace around the house.

This is probably my favorite stim of all time – I’ve been doing it for years. Oddly enough, it took me a while after learning about Autism to realize this is a stim.

I love walking, and take walks nearly every day – and usually at night when my house is dark quiet, I feel the urge to walk even more (yes, I’m aware that I’m actually a cat).

So, I set a timer, grab my headphones, put on some music, and I pace around my house for a few minutes. It’s one of the best stims that helps me process my thoughts and emotions, especially if I’ve been more anxious than usual.

6. Play the same song over and over again.

Until I learned about Autism, I never knew that listening to the same song over and over again was an autistic trait.. but it definitely is!

I try to discover new music, but more often than not, I usually end up listening to about 30 of the same songs from all kinds of genres for months.

When I discover a new song or artist I like, it’s hard for me to want to listen to anything else. I just find listening to the same song repeatedly very comforting.

This week, I’ve been constantly replaying a lot of Billie Eilish songs!

7. Journaling.

Journaling is my shit. Out of all these calming stims, it’s one of my favorites. In the last year, I’ve started journaling a lot. Now, I journal every day for a few minutes before I begin my work for the day. I don’t think about what I should write during this time, I write whatever thoughts happen to be in my head.

This is an amazing habit that helps me let go of my negative thoughts so that I don’t carry them into the rest of my day. This makes me much more aware of my thoughts, which significantly improves my mood and overall mental health

And, the physical sensation of actually writing my thoughts out on paper is incredibly relaxing. Win, win? I think so! If I feel I need it, I’ll do even more journaling throughout the day, too.

8. Take deep breaths.

Anytime I feel myself overwhelmed or on the verge of a meltdown or shutdown, I take a few deep breaths and come back to my body.

Focusing on my breathing gives me a chance to slow down and view situations with perspective. The repetitiveness of the deep breaths help me feel more grounded and in touch with myself – and it makes it easier for me to see situations in my life with more perspective.

9. Doodle.

I constantly doodled to survive through school. It was the only way I could even attempt to help my mind stay focused during long lectures!

I doodle much less today, but occasionally, I do it whenever I feel the urge. I love drawing in pencil and feeling the pencil move across the paper.

I’ve found it most comforting to draw the same types of things or things. For instance, in high school, I was constantly drawing mermaids, cupcakes, and flowers.

10. Sing or Hum.

I don’t really hum, but I do love singing – by myself, that is.

Sometimes I’m bored as hell while doing repetitive computer work, and singing helps me stay focused while finishing it. Most of the time, I sing to release physical tension and get in touch with my emotions.

This is one of the routines I’ve been incorporating at the start and end of my days. I set the timer on my phone for 20-25 minutes, and then I put on some music. Usually, it’s some kind of spiritual music with deep, meaningful lyrics that inspire me to look deeper within.

Sometimes, I feel overcome with the joy and beauty that I experience by doing this. Sometimes, all I can do is cry and let myself soak in everything I’m experiencing. I don’t always feel the same intensity of emotion when I do this practice, but I always feel at least a little bit of a higher state of consciousness after I do it.

11. Car Rides.

If you drive, long car drives are incredibly relaxing, calming stims. Okay, maybe not everyone likes them, but I know lots of people really enjoy them.

I feel so peaceful and relaxed when I’m driving by myself. The movement calms me down and helps me process my thoughts and emotions. I either have a podcast or music playing in the background, and hearing that while driving is also very soothing.

conclusion

There you have it, 11 calming stims for autistic adults! As autistics, stimming is so crucial to managing our self-regulation. That’s why it’s so important that we find healthy stims our bodies want so that we can better release tension and process our thoughts and emotions.

This is something I wish I’d done sooner, and what I hope you’ll do now. I hope you’re finding new ways to care for yourself and get in touch with your body. Above all else, I hope you’re finding freedom in moving your body however you feel you need.